A Mother's Connection

-Selected remarks made by Sandy Wiltshire at the conclusion of her book, My Gift of Light. Her journey and search for meaning, after the loss of her daughter, was not only unique but interesting.

"In the book of life, every page has two sides; we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes, and wishes, but providence writes on the other side, and what it ordains is seldom our goal.

Life after death will always remain a mystery to those on this side of the veil/heaven. I have learned, however,that connecting to loved ones who have crossed over to the other side can create hope at a time of greatest despair. The death of a loved one, especially the death of one of our children, forces us to search the depths of our souls for life's meaning. In the face of such devastating loss and heartache, we must devise new core values to live by.

As we search for answers, spirituality can provide a doorway to this understanding and to new hope. I know it changed my life, the way I view the world, as well as my belief system forever. (note: On her journey, Sandy learned/developed the ability to connect with her daughter. She ultimately became a medium and helps grieving parents connect with their children.)

We must confront our grief, learn how to move through it, and eventually embrace the truth that because of our loss, we are forever changed. We become so transformed by the work of grieving that we awaken to the fact that events or possessions that used to be important to us no longer are. Our once-ordered life is in chaos. As a result, we open ourselves to self-exploration.

The death of a child is a death out of the natural order. As Kim's mother, I obviously expected to die before she did. The emptiness, tortuous pain, and disillusionment with life that resulted felled me. As I have repeatedly said, the magnitude of my loss turned my entire life - and my belief system - upside down. Once the natural order had been torn apart, I had no choice but to discover a new way to look at the world - a way that would return me to well-being and, someday, happiness. I chose spirituality as one of the avenues to pursue, to make sense of this sudden and devastating loss.

I take comfort in knowing we never truly stop living and that what we on the earth plane call 'death' is anything but. My understanding is that we take our characteristics, habits, and memories with us. In spirit, we are free to develop our souls. We continue to grow, remember, and love - both here on earth as well as on the other side/heaven.

My wish is that by sharing my very personal journey with you, it will aid you on your own path as it twists and turns through your loss and grief. It takes a great deal of courage to find your way back into life. You will never be the way you were before, but you will learn to live with your loss and regain your abilities to function and be happy.


My I remind you to be gentle with yourself as you look for solace. You must allow yourself to express your feeling of grief. It is important to talk about your loss, your feelings of emptiness, your anger and pain. All these emotions are a normal part of the grieving process.

I believe that our children and other loved ones on the other side of life will help us to find our way if we allow them to. The bonds of love are never severed. Love is what enables and maintains the links between our two worlds."
-Excerpts taken from the book: My Gift Of Light by Sandy Wiltshire

Note from Marsha: I have read Sandy's book twice. The first time through (1 year ago) the whole idea of 'mediums' was an unusual thing for me. A lot has changed in my thinking since that time, hence I picked up the book again to read for a second time. This time many more things stood out for me. I am a Christian. I believe in this connection Sandy describes and have pursued it.

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Part 1: Questions About Heaven And My Child

Part 1... of a three-part series with questions answered by a 'medium' about life in heaven. I often receive emails (at A New Journey) asking if I believe in mediums and/or if I would share information I find regarding mediums. This is the beginning of several articles on the subject. The following questions and answers are written by Concetta Bertoldi, author and medium....

IS THERE A HEAVEN?
Yes, the Other Side is heaven. I don't usually use that term. I'm more likely to say paradise or just the Other Side. Until we go back it's very hard for us to even imagine it, it's more miraculous than anything we can make, believe, perform, or create on this side. I just don't think the human mind has the capacity to grasp it, even though at our deepest core we do indeed remember it.


WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE?
People have fears. They've heard about going into the Light and want to know, does it hurt walking into the Light? Do we lose our memories? Is everything there that we had before?

What I've heard from souls on the Other Side is that when we die we leave our bodies behind, sort of like a floating process. It is a 'gravitation' toward the Light. There's a feeling of anticipation - maybe a little fear, but more anticipation.

Nothing is forgotten. In fact, whereas now we can remember only some highlights of our past, over there we remember every single moment and detail. Everything we knew, loved or experienced.

There is a period of transition, a time we get to reflect on our lives -- I don't feel that this is standardized in any way, it's different from individual to individual.

The true beauty of the Light (God) is that it is total harmony. Here on earth we can spend a lifetime struggling and we don't realize that we have an effect on others. It is like being in the dark but when we get over there, we get a clear view of the effect we had on others here on earth.


DO THE SOULS OF OUR LOVED ONES EVER WANT TO COME BACK TO US? ARE THEY SORRY THEY LEFT?
I have never had a soul tell me they are sorry they left. Maybe they are not entirely happy about the circumstances of their crossing, but that's something different --they don't want those they've left on this side to be upset and grieving their loss so deeply. If they left someone suffering or left someone feeling guilty, they are sorry for this.

Remember, we are not of this physical world. Ultimately we belong to the larger universe that is God. We're here in this small part of the universe to study and learn and have certain experiences that only the physical world can offer. Dying and being on the Other Side is like a summer vacation from this physical world. It's a rare child who will say that she wishes she could go back to school before September, and likewise I've never heard a soul express the wish to go back before it's her time to reincarnate. Once they are on the Other Side, they understand the journey they've just completed. They love us still. Their love lasts through eternity. But the Other Side is paradise and unlimited and they don't need to come back into physical form to be with us.
-submitted by Marsha Abbott

Part 2 contains Concetta's answers to the questions: Why would someone have a short life? Do the living have certain illnesses to teach us certain lessons? Do we have a choice in who our parents will be before we are born?

*Note: These are the opinions of medium Concetta Bertoldi (pictured). She consults regularly with member os Britain's royal family, American celebrities, politicians, and others. Her practice has a two-year waiting list. She lives in New Jersey with her husband.

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Soul Searching

While reading the book, Memories of the Afterlife, by Michael Newton, I was struck by the passage regarding our souls working together with God to come into this world with a purpose. Experiencing life in the earthly realm provides the opportunity to encounter struggle, make choices, and pursue a greater understanding of what our soul's work is all about. Whether we pursue it or just 'coast' is completely up to us.

Michael described a mother who sought to find comfort after the loss of her murdered son. She connected with her son (explained in the book) and learned that his passing was meant to create a shift in her thinking. Her son reminded her that they were both well aware of this agreed upon journey and heartache before either of them began their lives on earth. He also reminded her that he was waiting for her return to heaven and encouraged her to pray, meditate, and pursue her journey.

It was noted that when 'choosing' a life where the probability for an early death is high, souls aided by God's divine love, must consider carefully which family to choose. The patterns for learning can create a bridge that allows the souls of the chosen family to grow as well. It is often the anguish and most challenging parts of our lives which force us to question the plan for our life. In those moments of pain, it is difficult to make sense of events, to find meaning inside the anguish. And yet it is often the agony that drives us to fulfill the central purpose of our lives. In the afterlife, we are all joined together.

I paused and thought, "What? They agreed? She agreed?" It is written that as souls evolve, their challenges become greater. If my time to leave this earth arrived today, I would probably stomp my way into heaven demanding "Who's stupid idea was this anyway?"

Yet, somewhere deep inside me I feel drawn to know more. Religious text, spirituality and enlightenment all beckon me to... soul search.   -Marsha Abbott



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* Originally posted at Bereavement 4 Breakfast; June 30, 2010