He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

The following story is an example of the giving spirit of one man. Father Flanagan was not a bereaved parent, but he was a man who saw a 'need' and did something to help. As bereaved parents the love we have for our child never dies. Within it lies the power of positve energy. That energy can be used in so many ways to help others. This energy/love has often been called a 'giving' memorial.

Edward Joseph Flanagan was born in Ireland, but at age eighteen he moved to the United States and began to prepare for priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church. After training in Emmitsburg, Maryland; Rome; and Innsbruck; he was ordained in 1912 as a priest for the archdiocese of Omaha, Nebraska.

One main problem in Omaha that Father Flanagan found and chose to address personally; derelict boys. Many of these boys had no mothers, no fathers, and no homes. They had no one to love them or teach them right from wrong. Virtually all had dropped out of public school. They became known in the city for breaking store windows, being petty thieves often stealing food), and starting street fights.

One day a grocer noted to Flanagan, "These boys should be arrested. They need to be taken away."

Looking beyond their vandalism Father Flanagan saw hungry faces and ragged clothes. He responded, "What they need is a home. They need someone to love them."

The grocer asked, "But who would take them in?"
He replied, "Maybe I will." And he did.

Father Flanagan borrowed a few dollars to rent an old house and then asked those in the immediate neighborhood to give him furniture, dishes, and bedding to furnish it and help fix it up. He invited five boys to move in with him, offering them a place to eat, sleep, play and pray. Soon these boys were laughing, learning, and attending church regularly. The neighbors were impressed. More and more boys began coming to his door, eager to for the normalcy of life he offered them.  Father Flanagan finally concluded, "The boys need a town of their own."

In 1922, Father Flanagan found a farm for sale eleven miles outside Omaha, and again he asked friends and neighbors to help with the purchase price and then to help build a town.  They built streets, sidewalks, houses, shops, a church, and a post office.  One large dining room was built as a place for the boys to eat, and a pool was constructed to give them a place to swim.  Boys from across the nation began to arrive.  One day a boy who could not walk arrived in Boy's Town, and Father Flanagan asked one of the older boys to carry him to his room. The big boy hoisted the newcomer onto his back as Father Flanagan asked, "He's not too heavy, is he?"

The older body smiled and said, "He ain't heavy, Father. He's my brother!" The statement became the hallmark of Boys' Town. (song: He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother) The action was immortalized in bronze, and the statement became a well-known quote across the nation.

Father Flanagan insisted that the entire 'town' be devoted to developing character in homeless boys by giving them religious and social education, as well as vocational training. The institution was such a success that Father Flanagan became a sought-out authority on the training and reclamation of boys who had become juvenile delinquents. After World War II he served as a consultant to the United States government in setting up youth programs in Japan and Korea. He died while on a similar mission in Europe.

When a child dies we look for ways to face the future, because imagining a future with out them is so difficult. Choosing to do, give or help others in some small way allows us to create something positive with all that love.... love that will never go away. -Marsha

Additional Articles:
Attitude Matters- discussion about sending loving thoughts to our children
JOY? What Joy? My Three Letter Word is...WHY? - excerpt from book, A Grief Like No Other

The TEST. Can We Pass It?

J.R. Macduff  goes right to the center of suffering in this short piece about ‘the test’.

I once visited the testing room of a large steel mill. I was surrounded by instruments and equipment that tested pieces of steel to their limits and measured their breaking point. Some pieces had been twisted until they broke, and then were labeled with the level of pressure they could withstand. Some had been stretched to their breaking point, with their level of strength also noted.

Others had been compressed to their crushing point and measured. Because of the testing, the manager of the mill knew exactly how much stress and strain each piece of steel could endure if it was used to build a ship, building, or bridge.

It is often much the same with us. Are we meant to be fragile vases of glass or porcelain? Is our journey on this earth meant to prepare our soul for strength or for weakness? Is it possible that we are meant to be formed like the pieces of steel, to endure the twisting and crushing pressure without collapse?

In our earthly purpose we are not meant to be like greenhouse plants. Each person has a different experience and a different path. Our growth does not come from being sheltered from rough weather, but to be challenged like storm-beaten oaks. There cannot be growth if we are like sand dunes that are driven back and forth by every gust. We are given the opportunity to become like granite mountains that withstand the fiercest storms. Yet, to accomplish this, we must have faith. Faith that we are being tested, through suffering. And many of us need no other argument than our own experiences to prove that suffering is indeed the greatest test of faith.

It is quite easy for us to talk and to theorize about faith, but we are often put into a crucible of affliction to test our gold and to separate the dross from the metal. It is better to weather the storm with faith than to sail smooth waters without it.   - by J.R. Macduff

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From Marsha:

The death of a child thrusts us into the worst storm imaginable. This loss threatens to sink the ship of most parents. Reaching out in faith, discovering a new or renewed faith, all offer harbors to help us find a way to travel forward. Though Macduff spoke about steel throughout his piece, I like the ‘ship’ analogy at the end.. I have often chosen quotes for ’A New Journey’ that refer to my daughter's ship as sailing before mine. That beloved ship has traveled far beyond my sight, beyond the horizon. How gut wrenchingly painful. I have faith that she waits for me. Someday my ship will sail too.

Recent posts:
Why Does A Young Person Have To Die?- Questions and answers
The Day The Music Died - Discussion of the difficulty of returning to previous joys.
 Rock On? - Being pummelled...
The Tenderhearted Friend -The blessing of having people in your life who care.

Visit A New Journey on Facebook: A place for grieving parents, families and friends.
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ROCK ON?

Most of us give little thought  to the raw materials which are formed into things we use. Take rocks for example.  Fire, water, and glacial pressure have worked on them for ages, yet we readily turn them into walls, patios, and fireplaces. They often become a part of the homes where we raise our children; where we teach them life’s lessons.

For those rocks to reach the point of being used for this purpose, they have endured much. Nature has pummeled them, dynamite has torn them apart, pickaxes have broken and split them into pieces. They are often disfigured and without design. Gradually they are cut into blocks. Some are chiseled with sharper instruments until they are properly prepared to be used.

Are we similar to these stones? There is certainly much we don’t understand. Life isn’t easy. Those who have suffered the death of a child have been  forced to endure the most incredible pain. Is our spirit being chiseled for a greater purpose? Will the choices we make along this journey develop our souls?  Perhaps like the stone, we have been cast in this earthly quarry to prepare. –Marsha

Isaiah 54:11

In case you have missed recent posts:
Why Does A Young Person Have To Die?- Questions and answers
The Day The Music Died - Discussion of the difficulty of returning to previous joys
The Tenderhearted Friend-Those amazing qualities

Visit A New Journey on Facebook: A place for grieving parents, families and friends.
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