They say time heals. Those who have had the opportunity to look back many years to the time their child died, will acknowledge that fact. Healing is a process and shouldn't be confused with 'forgetting'. The pain of loss will always be somewhere underneath the surface, though time may offer greater perspective. Time may also slow down the knee-jerk tear response felt in the early stages of grief, yet I believe we'll always carry a hole in our hearts in the shape of a tear.
In this clip, Barbara Eden, star of one of TV's popular sit-com re-run hits, I Dream of Jeannie(1), finds herself unable to keep her composure during an interview about her son; a reminder that no matter how brave we may try to be, tears don't always wait for a private opportunity.
Likewise, Marie Osmond, gave a heartbreaking interview on the Oprah show in November 2010 and talked about the suicide of her son Michael. A trained performer, Marie found it difficult to sing, Pie Jesu, a beautiful song she chose to honor her son. Donny spoke about his sister, his support for her and the family's loss.
The interview with Donny notes that Marie went back to work right away, then later began to crumble backstage before their shows. What a good example of the shock, numbness, and feeling of 'surrealness' that many parents feel after going through such a trauma. Making decisions can be difficult. We can take on too much. A wonderful reminder that support is so necessary.
TIME is a key player in this journey. There is no 'wrap-up' period that occurs when your child dies. It can take many years before the stabbing pain subsides. For each person it is a unique step-by-step process.
Did my child choose our family? (Soul Searching)
Things to be thankful for? (Tenderhearted Friend)
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(1) Barbara Eden starred in the show I Dream Of Jeannie (clip)