Each decade something different seems to happen to our bodies and lives. Media pundits try to prepare and help us. They tell us what we can do to stave off unwanted changes like wrinkles, belly flab, aging. They give us suggestions about relationships and job searches in our 20's; how to strengthen our marriage and raise children in our 30's. They remind us to select age appropriate fashion and deal decisively with rebellious teens in our 40's. They ask us if we've planned for our old age and suggest how to care for aging parents in our 50's. They show pictures of movies stars to demonstrate that we can make our 60's the 'new' 50's for those who can't face the fact that they are no longer spring chickens. Then, in our 70's, they remind us to stay active in our retirement years and offer savvy ways to make sure the government doesn't get our money when we die. The pundits are always available with tips to help us get through the decades of life.
Unfortunately life doesn't always fit into that 'decade' preparation plan. Stuff happens. Stuff that never seems to show up on the 'decade' plan. Stuff that reminds us the difference between life's challenges and unthinkable, irreversible loss. Stuff that forces us to re-evaluate everything.
In the circle of life we unwittingly assume we'll leave this earth before our children. We occasionally hear about 'this tragedy' or 'that tragedy' where a child(ren) dies, but it happens to someone else. Heartbreaking, but not our story;...... until one catastrophic day, when it becomes our story.
We are forced to accept that our child is physically gone from this earth. Questions arise. What do I really believe happened to them? Is it over forever? Has their spirit gone to heaven/crossed over? Where is heaven/the other side? Can I feel my child's presence around me? Was there a predetermined spiritual lesson involved? Do I believe I have been punished or my child was punished? Have my feelings about religion/faith been altered? Is our spirit/soul the real essence of what makes us, us?
Those who have had near death experiences (NDE) quite often ask themselves many of those same questions. Unalterably changed from an out of body experience they change their perspective about the human experience. "I learned the power of the spirit over the body, and I saw that the spirit functions at a level most of us are not aware of. Of course I knew that my mind created my thought, and my body performed my actions, but the spirit had been mystery to me. I realized that the spirit is a mystery to most people. (1)
"I saw that it functions, generally, without the mind even being aware of it. The spirit communicates with God/The Light, being the receptive device that receives knowledge and insight from him. All experience is for our growth, and negative experience helps develop our spirits. We have a choice to develop or to stagnate." (2)
New question. Were our souls aware of this journey before we incarnated to earth? Betty Eadie in her book, Embraced By The Light states, "We were very willing, even anxious, as spirits to accept all of our ailments, illnesses and accidents here to help better ourselves spiritually. In the spirit world/Heaven our earth time is meaningless. The pain we experience on earth is just a moment, just a split second of consciousness in Heaven/spirit world, and we are very willing to endure it."
Introspection, discovery and/or rediscovery of faith often take place after losing a child. The decade timeline seems silly when compared to such contemplation. A different level of thinking is in play. Choices for meaning are infinite and we are free to make them. The new journey is ours to navigate. -Marsha Abbott
Visit A New Journey on Facebook. A resource and place of hope for grieving parents. http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-New-Journey/139541632740837
(1) (2) -Embraced by the Light, pgs 66-71, by Betty Eadie