When catastrophic loss occurs, transformation follows. Sooner or later all people suffer loss, some are big, some are smaller, some are sudden, some are drawn out, some are private and some are public.
It is not the experiencing of loss that becomes the defining moment in our lives. It is how we respond to it. The quality of our remaining years will be directly related to our response.
The death of a child plunges parents and family members into a vast sea of despair. It is akin to nightmares we can't control or high fevers from illness. The blanket of darkness comes, no matter how hard we try to stop it. However threatening, we must face that blackness, and no matter how many people gather to help us, we must reconcile it within ourselves, alone.
Initially the pain is so intense we cannot reason, we often complete tasks in robotic fashion, finding ourselves hoping our child will walk through the door and we'll awaken to discover this was a horrible dream. As time progresses, the reality sets in and we try to find understanding, to no avail. But somewhere along the journey we come face to face with decisions about how we will respond.
Will we search for a spiritual connection, finding the strength to seek or will we shrivel, decaying in spirit and energy? Will we consider the broader purpose for our lives or crumble into the unfairness of such a crippling loss?
Perspective can be easier to develop if we consider the wishes of our child. What would they want for us? Suffering such agony puts the most extreme pressure upon the soul. Like a lump of coal placed under intense pressure we can emerge a diamond with light to share with the world.
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